Thursday, June 5, 2008

The real world DOESN'T work that way...(may be offensive)

Hello, people, welcome back! Missed me? Didn't think so...

But, anyway, the other day, I was working and noticed a Archie comic book.

ARCHIE? WTF is that?

Well, for you youngsters, Archie was a comic book published in the 1930's/40's(sue me if I got the date wrong. I'm too lazy to look it up.

Archie is the main character of a high school/teenager named Archie, of course, and his adventures around the small town called Riverdale. Archie is a nice guy, but he's kinda of clumsy at times(mainly used for comic effect/plot advancement). He's tall, skinny and has reddish/orange hair. He still lives with BOTH parents(which is amazing in this day and age).

He has several friends, of course, but two that are the main focus are two females called Betty and Veronica.

Betty is a blond, a homebody type. She is a very nice person. She's a mack daddy when it comes to domestic duties. Very next door girl type.

Veronica is a darked haired/brunette, she comes from a rich family. She doesn't know anything about chores(she has helpers), she buys new clothes whenever her old ones gets dirty. She's not a total snob, though...

Well, the whole thing is, Betty and Veronica have this rivalry about winning the affections of Archie.

And they're cool with it...


Betty and Veronica not only go out with Archie, they compare notes!

'Well, Archie took me out to the movies...'

'He's going to take me dancing...'

This sh*t would not be happening in the real world. This stuff is a Springer episode in the making.

'Oh no you don't. He's my man!'

*insert Springer fight scene here*

But basically, Archie is just oblivious to the whole thing. He's too busy trying to get money to go out with both of them. (Even though Veronica should be the one paying.)

But come on, now, if Archie was smart, he would start thinking about how to turn this to my advantage.

Sh*t...this is the 21st century. Let's move beyond the whole dating thing and think about booty calls.

Hell, Archie could be getting blowjobs from Betty and Veronica and have them exchanging notes about it.

'Archie likes it when I swallow...'

'Archie likes it on my face.'

Don't get me wrong, Archie is a good, cute comic...

But, damn, it's certainly is behind the times...

Either that, or I'm just a jealous motherf*cker...

Oh, well...

Thanks for reading...


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