Friday, November 25, 2011

It's that time of year again...

Hello all... It's the time of year know as Christmas. Where people go around mindless buying useless stuff for each other and have a false sense of self fulfillment and good cheer. Whatever happened to the ORIGINAL intent of the holiday season? I honestly don't know...I think it got bought out by Wal-mart and Target. Who cares if there's a few million people out of work and starving and possibly homeless? I GOT ME A 9001 inch internet tv with 2002piRsquared and the next PlayXbox 17 with the latest version of Mortal Wombat 7 for under $1000 bucks? Never mind the fact that I'm gonna lose my house on New Years because I took out a mortgage that I afford. Never mind the fact that I'm getting my paycheck garnished because I'm a deadbeat parent. Never mind the fact that I'm a crackwhore who sucks d*ck for a living and can't bother to ACTUALLY clean myself up or better myself. Never mind the fact that I'm a alcoholic and rather spend whatever cash I can beg for Jack and Bud. Whew! /rant One of these days, us human will actually remember what this day ACTUALLY means...but until then BAH F*UCKING HUMBUG! Thanks for listening! Later!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

File this under: 'There's one born...'

Hello all, Note: This is a TRUE story. Names haven't been changed (expect mine), etc., etc... At my job, I have this co-worker named Jonny. He's not the SHARPEST tool in the shed. Semi-nice guy, but...I wouldn't trust him with heart surgery. Anyway, I went over to his area to get some equipment. Since today is pay day, everyone has money. Me: 'Hey, Jonny...maybe you can help me...' Jonny: 'Whaddya need, avid?' Me: 'Well, the cashiers didn't have it, but do you have 2 TENS for a FIVE?' Yes, that was a troll...most people would just look at ya funny. But not Jonny. He digs into his pocket and rummages out some money...some tens, a twenty. Me: 'Jonny, give me the twenty.' Jonny: 'Sure, here ya go...' I take the twenty and hand him a five. He starts to stare at the five while I slowly make my escape with my ill-gotten booty. *lightbulb* Jonny: 'AVID!' Busted. I walk back to give him his 20 and he gives me back my five. I grab what I needed and ended up LAUGHING my *SS off for the next 10 minutes. Which goes to show that PEOPLE CAN BE STUPID! Thank for reading! Later!

Blast from the posting past